Make your own free website on


Author Unknown

I am the spirit of life and little by little I am whithering away. Not a pleasant feeling since there is nothing I can do about it. My owner seems to ignore my pleas for help. He continues to live in such a way that is slowly killing me. What he doesn't know is that once I am not longer around he will not have a reason to go on either.

No I will not die willingly or easily but if my existance continues as it is I won't be able to stop the inevitable from happening. In case you are wondering why I can't do anything to stop my owner I'll tell you. It is because God gave everyone the right to choose how they live their life. My owner and I apparantly have different gods.

See I believe in God in Heaven. The one who wants good for everyone. My owner follows an earthly god who wants good for himself. How do I know this? I will tell you.

I will call this earthly god Mr. Control. Well Mr. Control likes to run things his way and my owner follows his lead. What he wants gets changed that way. That is what is killing me. I don't get my vitamins, nor my exercise, and my freedom has been taken away.

Music gives me energy. But I like all kinds and my owner needs to watch what he listens to. If listening to what I like I must do so in almost secret or in a quietness that does not energize me. See there is no meaning to anything the ears must strain to hear.

I don't get my exercise of self expression for my owner no longer chooses to like or dislike anything. That is at least not outwardly. I am getting all squashed in my little space with all the pent up feelings that hide away in me. I am slowly losing my strength to hold them in place. If I lose them I will lose more of myself.

Mr. Control sets the rules for the day. Sometimes they change and my owner's body reacts with tension. That pinches me and I strike back calling "let me out". It isn't happening. My owner follows the rules to keep peace and in a way that is good for the wear and tear on the body and myself is decreased that way. In a way it is bad for my owner won't set me free so I can help him live more fully.

You may ask do I ever relax and I would say yes I do. I can't show myself to the world at large and I believe it is because my owner doesn't want me to be hurt. I sure wish he would have my God.

My God doesn't make people cry. He loves them for who they are and that includes me. I could come out in the open and share all my special thoughts and feelings with the world. I could help my owner feel loved and special even if people like Mr. Control are around. My God allows people to be themselves with all their unique thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. My God doesn't stop loving someone because they don't do exactly as He says.

I sure do wish that my owner would realize that no matter what he does Mr. Control will never be satisfied. There will always be faults to find, behaviors to change, feelings to manipulate, and freedoms to take away.

I know what I will do. I will pray to my God in heaven and ask that He help set my owner free from his earthly god. I know that will help. I will be able to be free and my owner will be able to be who God meant him to be. So if you know a soul that belongs to some earthly god pray for the owner. God cares and will help.